Life with a broken leg

Life with a broken leg in a cast stinks. You might think that its fairly easy....

Not.Even.Close.

Your life is not the same. 

To begin with - the human body was not built to walk on crutches. Not your arms, not your shoulders, not your hands not the rest of the body for that matter. You might say, that this is a brilliant workout. It is - trust me. But unlike an elective workout at the gym, here you don't stop. Or at least do not have the leisure to stop. Because you still have to soldier on. Whether you like it or you don't.

So what can you do with a cast and crutches. Learn how to swear. A lot.

You would think that with all the genius in the world and the resourcefulness of SME, one might have come up with a decent pair of crutches. They have not. They do not stand up on their own, you lean them against something and they will fall down. Why doesn't anyone coat them with some sort of a silicon based coating, instead of just slippery aluminium. Or come up with a method on how to stick them together. Because, as I now know - you stand up better on two legs than on one.

So the crutches will inevitably fall over. Get over it.

Climbing stairs
Climbing stairs with a cast and crutches is quite demanding as well. Let me put t this way : after eight weeks you will single handedly win ANY one legged Jack Bunny hopping contest. If you want to climb stairs, the best way is :

• Hold the crutch with the same arm as your broken leg
• Put the (one) crutch on the stair you are standing on with the good leg
• Angle your broken leg backwards
• If possible hold onto the bannister with the other arm
• Push down with your arm on the crutch and jump up one step
• Repeat at will

Getting down the stairs
Nice one too. But less complicated than climbing the stairs. Really ! And the added thrill of maybe falling down the stairs...
But seriously

• Hold the crutch with the same arm as your broken leg
  
• Put the (one) crutch on the stair just below the one you are standing on with the good leg
• Angle your broken leg backwards
• If possible hold onto the bannister with the other arm
  
• Push down with your arm on the crutch and jump down one step
• Repeat at will
• Gravity will ensure your way down is actually less exhausting than the way up

Have a tolerant partner or move in with a friend
You will need a tolerant and helpful partner, friend or significant other. Don't think you will make it on your own. You might - but it will be a nightmare. After this is over, you might want to treat your partner to something nice.
You will not be able to do most things you were/are used to. Cooking in the flamingo position is not funny, neither is doing most household things for that matter

Get a cleaner
Even if you think that getting a cleaner is a modern form of slavery - get one. Or clean your place once the cast if off. Because you are not going to be pulling a hoover or mopping the floor any time soon. While you are at it - if you do not get a cleaner, get an ample supply of clean clothes or a fidelity card for your local service washing laundrette. See as well the point Rucksack below.

Get a rucksack
When walking with crutches, you can not transport anything. Unless you are carrying stuff between your teeth, just like a dog carries a bone. Works for the printer and the copy machine though. And magazines at home. For the rest you will need a rucksack. Your gear nicely tugged away on your back will mean that you can actually carry something without being too dependant on others. But beware - a can of soda in your rucksack is a bad idea. Stick to non fizzy drinks.

In the office
Have tolerant colleagues. Going to the watercooler or the coffee machine and hopping to make it back to your desk with the drink is an illusion. You will need colleagues to help you.

Shoe and sock (singular intended)
Wear a comfy shoe. Wear running shoes or other shoes with a sole that has grip. Lots of it, as you might need it. Do not wear shoes with a leather sole, as this does not provide much grip. On the contrary - you might slip and damage your other leg. And as having one leg in a cast is not my idea of fun, having two in a cast must be my idea of hell. For the other foot, I strongly recommend a sock over the tip. Your foot will be nice and warm at all times and let's face it- most toes are just plain ugly. Mine are at least.

Distances you can cover with crutches
This largely depends on your personal state of fitness and if you can put weight on the leg. In my case (unfit and no weight permitted on the leg for six weeks) 150 m and I was out for the count. You burn three times (code 17140) as many calories walking on crutches than you do without. But say you have to do a kilometer between your office and the train station, I am afraid you will have to get a wheelchair. I guess this will become easier once you can put some weight on the broken leg. Even 20kg mean that the rest of the body has to substantially support less weight. And the ligaments in your arms and hands are not build to withstand this weight for prolonged periods. If they do, you sprain them and the pain will become even worse. You have been warned.

Accessories for the crutches
One very useful item when walking on crutches are gloves. The kind of gloves cyclists wear, without fingertips but comfy gel pads on the hands. Not only will you have a better grip on the crutches, but also substantially less pain  and discomfort. For 15€ they were a godsend. Plus they help with the wheelchair as well, as the metal for the propelling can be very very slippery indeed when wet.